Fairytales
by Midoriri
Summary: If Near's a princess, who's the prince?" AU, Genderswitch


**Disclaimer: ****I do not own Death Note, nor the characters. All I own is this weird little story on my computer. And the strange mind it was born from.**

**Also, despite the dialogue of "a princess needs a prince," please understand that I am **_**not, **_**I repeat, **_**NOT **_**trying to suggest that woman needs a man to be complete. This is just a weird part of plot that I came up with randomly. Please do not be offended or give me any lectures on feminism.**

**Thank you, and please enjoy.**

"So, Mello..."

"What?"

"If Near's a princess...who's the prince?"

...

It was certainly an odd question. But then again, the Near-princess comparison was odd as well.

**-oOo-**

**Earlier...**

**-oOo-**

"Do you remember that one time, when we were ten years old?" Mello asked out of the blue. Matt, sitting a few feet away, raised an eyebrow but said nothing. He didn't even glance up from his new game.

"Mello, there's been a lot of 'that time when we were ten years old's. Which one are you referring to exactly?..._Yes..._" he hissed under his breath as he got a new weapon.

"I mean when some of the girls found that book of fairytales." Mello was reclining in an easy-chair, half-eaten chocolate in one hand, his head tilted upwards so he faced the ceiling. He crossed one leg over the other before taking another bite. And talking with his mouth full. "A couple of the girls went to the library and found a fairytale book, remember? And then they all got together and read it out loud to each other." And anybody within earshot, whether they liked it or not. The girls had later huddled together, giggling amongst themselves and flipping through the brightly-colored pages, pointing to various titles and illustrations, and comparing themselves to some of the characters.

...

_"Amy's Sleeping Beauty!"_

_"Linda's Vasillissa!"_

_"Look! Look, it's me!"_

_The girls were huddled around the book like a team of rugby players, the book sitting on the ground in the center. A few girls were daring to look over their shoulder to find some random child, and find their alter-ego. Mello tried not to notice. Until..._

_"So, would Mello be a princess, or a prince?" one girl whispered loudly._

_The blonde in question froze._

_"We-ell...he's a _ boy_, so he has to be a prince, right?"_

_"No, he's a princess!" one girl offered in an authoritive voice, holding up an index finger. She glanced at him over her shoulder, not noticing his angry expression. "He's got the looks..."_

_"I think he's more of an evil villain," whispered a quiet girl, casting a fearful look around the group._

_"Pfft...fine, whatever," the first girl complained, leaning back over the book. Mello exhaled deeply, feeling that it was over. Not a chance._

_"Is Near a princess?" someone asked._

_The whole group, and Mello, looked toward the pale, white-haired girl on the other side of the room. She was, as usual, leaning over her beloved puzzle. Mello wondered how in the hell she could still play with it. She'd had it for ages, and finished it a few dozen times a day, so how could it possibly still be any fun? Matt would've compared it to getting an easy video game, and beating it hour after hour after hour after..._

_"Maybe...she's Rapunzel," someone offered, cocking her head as she eyed the girl's long hair. "So, yeah, she's a princess."_

_Mello nearly choked, quite a feat when one has nothing in their mouth._

_"Yeah, she's Princess Near!"_

_"Hey, girls, you know what we need? Princesses need princes!"_

_He'd had enough. Mello got up and quickly left the room, leaving those empty-headed girls to their silliness._

...

"You're still obsessing about that?" Matt asked, glancing up at his friend for a brief second. "You need to let it go. So a couple of girls thought you'd make a nice princess, that's not such a big deal-"

But Mello shook his head. "No, I was just thinking of what one of them had said. She said every princess needed a prince, and it was right after she called Near a princess herself."

From the couch, Matt let out a sharp, derisive laugh. "Near a princess...that's a new one."

For some odd reason, Mello felt defensive. Just a little bit. "Hey, she's got the hair."

"_C'mon, die already, you stupid..._Well, that's true. But she's pale as Death, she's a genius (and I don't think I can remember any smart princesses in the fairytales), she doesn't care about anything...If Near were to be anybody at all, I'd peg her as some random person. That or a wicked fairy."

For a few minutes, all was silent. Well, except for the beeping sounds coming from Matt's game...and the occasional scream of pain as Matt's guy cut off an opponent's head.

And then Matt had to pose that weird question.

**-oOo-**

Mello lay back in his "bed," staring up at the ceiling. _Good question...if Near were indeed a princess, she wouldn't _need _a prince, though, would she? _Despite this reasoning, the idea simply refused to leave Mello's head, preferring to stay there and fester until it drove him mad.

Hmm...Near as a princess. She'd certainly be an unconventional type, that was for damn sure. Most of the princess that Mello had heard about in the fairytales (when he was _forced_ to listen, that is. Stupid teachers and their stupid "no leaving during the story" rule. Thanks to that, Mello knew of more fairytales and sugary-sweet lies than he cared to) had been beautiful and ever-kind, and that was about it. Oh, sure a handful of them proved to be clever, but for the most part, the ones he had heard about were quite stupid, relying only on their looks and their princes to help them through a crisis.

And Near was certainly not like that. Well...she _did_ like to make her "henchmen" do some of the work while she stayed in the darkened room with her finger-puppets, robots, and a toy pony. But no way in _hell_ was she helpless. Or beautiful. Or stupid.

So, being smart, clever, perfectly able to take care of herself, she didn't _need_ any prince at all. Mello turned over onto his side, closing his eyes to sleep. Yep, that settled the matter.

...

Oh, hell, no it didn't.

_Near needs no prince, Near needs no prince, Near needs _no_ prince... _Mello chanted in his head over and over, covering his ears and squinting his eyes shut tight.

...

...

...

_"Okay, the prince's job is to protect the princess, and make sure she's safe and happy," one girl said, smiling around the group._

_"And he has to love the princess!" one of her friends, offered, pointing to a watercolor picture of a prince and princess embracing. "The prince is the princess's love!"_

...

...

Well, if _that_ was the case, then there was no _way_ Near had any prince. She loved nobody.

...Right?

Against his will, Mello opened his eyes and started to ponder the various "princes" Near could've had.

_Well, there's hardly anybody to choose from._

_Near never really cared for anybody, _ Mello mused to himself. _And I can't think of anyone that could have cared for her. In _that_ way._

Again against his will, random names started to float into his mind as he considered their potential.

Virtually anybody from the orphanage was out. Near hadn't paid any attention to them whatsoever, except for tiny bits of dialogue, such as "You're standing on my puzzle piece" and "Pass the butter." _ Not a chance, boys..._he could practically hear her saying. If she even talked like that, anyway.

Hmm...L, maybe? Well, that was a _little _bit better, but...they hardly knew each other. Mello frowned. Where did that idea come from anyway? Well, the two _were_ pretty similar. They looked alike (to an extent), they talked similar, they both had giant minds with complicated, intricate mechanisms. (Or at least, L had before he'd died.) But could they actually have been...?

No way. Not a chance, Mello tried to tell himself. For one thing, there was the considerable age gap. And, L hadn't been "prince" material anyway. He'd be more of a dark knight. No, not even that...He'd be some powerful wizard, wise beyond his years, who would use his skills to solve interesting and complex problems. So would that make Near the witch? Better than a princess.

_Maybe I just don't _want _to think about it... _About what, he didn't know. What freaked him out more; Near loving the man, or vice-versa? _This is all kinds of disturbing..._ Mello thought to himself, tossing, trying to get comfortable.

_Well, there's one a few more options...there's Matt..._

But that could never happen. At least, Mello didn't _think_ it could happen. Come to think of it, did Near even so much as _look _at Matt?

_And then there's me...Whoa, where'd _that_ come from?_

No way. No _way. _No-way-no-way-no-way-no-way-

Mello groaned loudly and rolled over, hiding his now-burning face. Great, now he had the stupid mental image of himself clad in one of those _stupid _prince outfits that were illustrated in the picture book, poofy pants and all. Oh, God, wouldn't Matt laugh his ass off if he heard _that..._

Not that he would _ever_ let that slip to Matt...some things, a guy had to keep private. Especially if it was unwanted.

_For the love of God, Near's _not_ a princess! _He screamed the words in his mind, and after a few hours, fell into a fitful sleep.

**-oOo-**

"Mello's not a prince," the girl said out of nowhere, looking up from her robots.

"Where did this come from?"

"Truthfully, I don't know. But he's no prince," she repeated, returning to her games. "I'd say...he's more a wolf."

**-oOo-**

_A wolf..._

Mello woke up in the middle of the night. (It looked like it was actually very early morning, due to the fact that the dark sky was beginning to lighten, but still, it could easily be classified as night.) He didn't know where the "wolf" thought came from, but it had crept into his head, uninvited and undetected until it was too late. Until it'd sparked a dream.

He couldn't remember very many details, as some dreamers do, but he could catch tiny snatches of it. A girl with long white hair, clad all in white, with her white nightgown and an additional piece of fabric serving as a cape and hood; a dark-clad man with golden canine ears and a tail; a dark forest...and no rescue.

Where the hell did he get the Red Riding Hood dream? (Well, _White_ Riding Hood, she wasn't wearing anything red.)

Even more disturbing, why did the fact that there was no rescue seem so important? In the parts he could remember, there was no hunter, no prince, no father, no woodcutter, nothing like that coming to save Near. He'd been the wolf, he knew that, but nothing stopped him from...what?

"Near is no princess. And she has no prince."

There was only a wolf.

**A/N Well, that was weird. My apologies for jumping around so much with this. Hmmm...you know, I'm actually tempted to go on a little more about the dream, but maybe next time...What do you guys think?**


End file.
